You Can Be A Mom & Have A Life Too

This one is for the moms! I booked a woman yesterday who really opened up about why she wanted to do a photoshoot. And it made me realize - that this is something that mothers struggle with across the board - but it never get's talked about.

She is a beautiful, feisty 50+ year old woman. She is married, and with a few wonderful kids - who are now grown. She loves my brand and the whole concept of and Editorial Photoshoot ,so she quickly inquired about doing one of her own. I suggested that she bring her kids or her husband, too. But she said: No - this one is for me.

Photo by Wix

Giving Up Your Life, For Your Kids

She went on to say: "When you become a mom, it's like you give up a part of yourself. You give all your time, energy & love to your kids, to your husband, to others..."

And she told me that after 30 years, she feels like she is just now coming out of that. And for her birthday, she wanted to celebrate that with her own personal photo shoot.

To really feel like herself again, to discover herself. To celebrate herself. To find herself. To feel like she could be the person she wanted to be & do all the things she wanted to do - for her.

I was nearly in tears, because I can totally relate. I told her how after my daughter was born - that time seemed to blur by. (Even though she is only 1.5 years old) And I didn't feel like a person. I felt like a mommy-machine who just outputs love, time, energy, snacks, breakfast, diaper changing.

And to an extent - that is the plight of the mother. Taking care of others.

Taking Care Of Others - Does Not Mean Neglecting Yourself

But the thing I have recently found is - taking care of others DOES NOT MEAN YOU NEGLECT YOURSELF. You must make it a priority to take care of yourself. Above all. Because if you're not taking care of yourself, you will have nothing to give.

You will be working out of an empty jar. So you become resentful, and may start to blame your kids or your husband.: "Like ugh, how dare you be born to take up all my time!" You may feel frustrated. Overworked. Anxious. Unfulfilled. And can you imagine, what if during this time you took your last breath- you will have died never feeling like you lived a full life.

Photo by Wix

Decide To Start Living Your Life Today...Not Someday

But the light at the end of the tunnel is this: you do not have to wait until your kids grow up to start living your life. You can be the person you want to be today. It'll take a little creativity -because let's be honest: you have a more things to juggle around - like kids, a career, maybe a husband.

But imagine what it would look like if you started making decisions for you. That may look like applying for jobs you may love to do, you love, researching schools & programs to go into or looking up babysitters/daycares in your area.

Photo by Wix

Doing What's Best For You - Is NOT Selfish, It's What's Best For You & Your Kids

In society - we are taught to feel shame & guilt around motherhood & what "good mothers" do. We are taught to exalt the "Supermom"- who is always taking care of her kids, and there for them 24/7. And that wanting a date night out, time away, or a day off - is selfish.

Have you ever heard some of these things: "You don't get a day off when you're a mom. Well you have kids now so your life is over. There goes your sex life. You don't have fun when you have kids." I'm here to tell you that these beliefs are dumb, and the quickest way to identity crisis, a mental health breakdown and poor health in general. Doing things that are best for you - will only benefit your kids. Because your kids need to grow, but so do you. And imagine them seeing a strong, healthy, fulfilled mommy.

It Is Okay!

It is okay to need a break. It's okay and healthy to have time away. It is okay to want to be a working woman. And it is also okay if you want to be that stay-at-home mother.

Photo by Wix

You Are The Only One Who Can Decide How YOU Want To Live

But ladies - don't let others define the way you live or make your decisions for you - with their negative voices or limiting beliefs on "what good moms do". You are the only person who knows what you want out of life, and you are the only person with the power to decide how you want to live it. We have to step up and start doing what's best for us! Stop putting your life on hold. And start believing that you can be a great, fantastic AMAZING mother, AND live a life that you love - at the same time.

You don't have to choose one over the other. Trust me, you can do both.